Nothing Else Would Do
by tharah
Summary: Love isn't always just handed to someone easily. Lina decides she'll find it one way or another, no matter how hard the road gets or how many she'll have to face down along the way! OOC, AU, LZ Edit: Chapter 5 up!
1. Chpt 1: Tell Me What I Want To Hear

_Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer here, I wish I owned Slayers and everything with it, but I don't. If I was making money off this, I'd be rich...but I'm not. I'm just a poor college student with too much free time._

Okay, after a lot of thought, (and encouragement from many wonderful people to continue this!) I decided to rewrite this series a bit, both to update my general style, and to fix the _many_ mistakes. Enjoy...and as always, C & C is welcome.

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_Chapter 1: Tell Me What I Want to Hear_

Why did the heart have to be so complicated? Things never turned out the way they were supposed to, the style written about in all the classic tales, the romantic ballads. There was no instant connection, no flash of light; their eyes hadn't met across a crowded tavern, angelic choirs hadn't started singing amid beams of blinding sunlight.

Poetry didn't stream from her lips; if anything, she was lucky to put two words together around him these days. No, matters of the heart were certainly nothing like the stories made them out to be. Then again, she'd been a fool to ever think that life could possibly run as smoothly as a fairy tale.

Seeking a distraction, Lina casually scanned the camp again. Various equipment rested in odd-sized parcels scattered about, each one casting shadows that danced in time with the flickering campfire. Just within range of the fire's warmth sat her companions. To no one's surprise, Gourry had already fallen asleep, the occasional mutter escaping his lips. Sylphiel lay at his side, comfortably snuggled in his arms. A soft smile lit the healer's face, and it was obvious to Lina that they were truly happy together. If only she could have been so lucky.

_'There's no way I will find a simple love like that. Chaos-child aside, I doubt that anything in my life is meant to be so easy.'_ Letting her gaze soften, Lina sighed to herself. _'Those two were perfect for each other from the start. If anyone in our group deserves a fairytale ending, it should be them. Now in my case…I just had to fall with the odd man out. Not only is he the one person in our group that shows little to no emotion, but he also puts his pursuit of stronger magic - both for his cure and otherwise - above all else. As if that weren't enough, he also had to have someone else already chasing after his heart!'_ She scowled darkly at her final thought. Turning a bit, she gazed with deadly accuracy at one corner of the camp, to where Amelia sat.

Blissfully unaware of Lina's heated gaze, Amelia continued chatting with Zelgadis. Moments after striking camp she'd pounced on him, and the two had spent the rest of the night talking. Watching them, Lina didn't miss the unusual animation he was displaying. While the nods of agreement were normal enough, the occasional smile wasn't.

Her mood darkened a bit at that. It was rare enough to see Zel smiling, even rarer to hear actual laughter. Now those precious emotions were being given freely to another. At one time Lina had fancied herself the only one able to break through Zel's dark moods…but even if she hadn't learned better over the years, tonight would have opened her eyes quite a bit.

_Yep, you sure know how to pick'em, Lina._ A small part of her chimed in.

_'Oh, shut up…' _She snapped the thought. _'Things are bad enough without my natural talent for sarcasm showing up. Can't I have a gloomy night now and then?'_

_Ah, but you've been slipping into moods like that too much lately. It isn't like you._

Lina muttered a soft curse. '_I'll decide what is or isn't like me, no one else.'_

Deciding that her inner debate had gone on enough already, she let herself focus on the others again. The pair were still deep in discussion, almost oblivious to her presence, not that the idea really surprised her. Despite everything they'd done together over the years, more and more she felt like the odd one out, the extra member.

Oh, she'd worked alone before…but her time with Naga had taught her the benefits of partners, even annoying ones. When Gourry had shown up, though she would never admit it, she'd been happy for the company. While there were still times she missed working alone, having friends was more than she wanted to sacrifice for that kind of freedom.

But time had a way of changing things. They argued more now, talked and joked a bit less. It was as if they were all bored with each other, sick of the same faces, the same adventures. Never mind that _they_ had chosen to team up with _her_. Somewhere along the way they had started slipping from adventuring together to working on personal goals, enough that now she felt more like a burden than a binding and driving force. A small part of her had even begun to wonder if any of them would notice or care if she were to leave, be it suddenly or by disbanding their little gang. What if she were hurt? Would they put their own quests on hold? Would they feel the same loyalty they'd all shared in the past?

_Of course they would!_ That small part of her piped up immediately.

She tried latching on to the optimistic thought, but her doubts wouldn't be ignored. _Why would anyone care about you? You're just some runt with a flare for magic, a child that's served her purpose. What are you without some cause to fight? You can hardly wield your sword, you spend most of your time complaining or attacking others, you eat as much as most armies, and your looks leave much to be desired. Face it; Sylphiel is the kind and understanding one, Amelia is the cheerful and cute one, and you're just the left over with a loud mouth and a sharp temper._

That was find straw in Lina's opinion. '_Be quiet! Why won't you just-' _She closed her eyes, sharply cutting off her poisonous train of thought. "Shut UP!"

The last of her thoughts exploded from her in a yell, her eyes flying open in surprise. Immediately Amelia and Zelgadis turned to stare at her, clearly startled at her outburst. Thankfully Gourry and Sylphiel slept on, though the pair tossed and turned a moment before settling back down.

Lina felt her cheeks redden in embarrassment, and hastily she fought to stay calm. Amelia's narrowed gaze didn't help matters. At one time the princess would have already jumped to her feet, worried for her friend and fellow champion of justice. But lately she'd changed, oddly reminding Lina more and more of Naga, both in looks and attitude. Now the princess glared at her, the look obvious enough that Lina could almost hear her thoughts. '_Quit bothering my Zel and I.' _

With something like that fresh in her mind, she didn't even bother looking at Zelgadis. One person's disapproval for the night was more than enough.

Before either could actually say anything, she stood up abruptly. Once on her feet, Lina felt her control slip just a bit, but she was determined to keep herself stable until she'd left their sight.

"Umm…sorry." She mumbled, finding the sight of her feet suddenly fascinating. When the two remained silent, she turned sharply on her heel and all but ran from the pair.

Caring more about her escape, rather than the direction that escape took her in, Lina let herself run blindly. All that mattered at that moment was getting away for a while, that and salvaging what little remained of her pride. Only the fact that she'd kept from crying eased her mind, giving her one thing to be a bit proud of.

Dimly Lina noticed the passing trees, though after a while they started to blend into a single dark blur streaking alongside her. The tears hovering at the edge of her vision weren't helping matters. She wasn't used to tears; after all, wasn't Lina Inverse the strong one? Lina Inverse was supposed to face down dark lords with a smile, control spells of utter destruction without a hint of worry…she wasn't supposed to run from two people that were her partners, that should have automatically been considered friends.

She took a deep breath, hoping to push aside her emotions. Instead, her mental and emotional pain were replaced with physical, a coughing fit seizing her suddenly. Lungs burning, she laughed despite the pain it brought. She couldn't even run away without messing it up somehow. It just wasn't her night.

Even with her coughing pains, she continued running for some time after, only stopping once her legs were on the verge of collapsing beneath her. With a clumsy landing that would have made the old Amelia proud, Lina fell to her knees roughly. She spent a few minutes just taking in the cold night air, each breath a loud, frantic gasp. Briefly she thanked whoever was listening for cutting off the tears that had threatened her earlier. Even with dry eyes, her throat and lungs made up for it, each burning from her earlier abuse.

Eventually her system settled down, and for the first time she took a good look at her surroundings. Trees ringed her on all sides, each bit of shadow-darkened bark and pine looking much like every other. Narrowing her eyes a bit, she peered into the gloom, hoping to recognize something. When no convenient path back to camp presented itself, she cursed.

"Great, just great. I'm too tired to use magic, assuming it wasn't that time of the month to begin with, and I'm too foolish to keep from getting lost in the first place!" She muttered, slamming a fist into the damp ground.

Inwardly she started laughing. Here she was, the chaos mage herself, lost and alone in some nameless woods. For years people had either respected her or hated her, glad to see her slay their enemies while also living in terror of her black magic. Over the years she had saved kingdoms, recovered lost spells and knowledge, and destroyed countless bandits and monsters. Several times she had thought about settling down in a small town somewhere, living the rest of her life in peace. There had to be a single village somewhere that hadn't heard her name…hadn't heard the tales.

It was a naïve dream though. Everyone knew the stories, had heard her nicknames. She was to be avoided at all costs…unless needed to handle some problem too big for anyone else. Even if she did find such a town, they'd find her; people wanting favors, enemies wanting to get rid of her…she was too much the wild card to ever be left alone. Chaos and death followed in her wake…even past miracles couldn't wipe away the fear she instilled in their eyes.

Even her friends had it. She wasn't certain when everything had hit that final breaking point, but after tonight…she couldn't stand it anymore. She couldn't, no, she _wouldn't_ stomach another night of lonely dreams, another day of silence…or worse, the whispers and glances. Oh, the others tried to be all smiles when they thought she was looking at them, but she could see the changes despite their act.

Gourry claimed to see her as a little sister, a partner to be protected, but she noticed the waver in his voice, the fear in his blank stare. They'd gone beyond their old playfulness…he'd seen too much, knew just what destruction she was capable of. Sylphiel played the part of understanding friend, kind and forgiving priestess…but Lina had caught her shuddering more than once, clinging to Gourry when she stepped too close. For all the good she'd done, she was no saint; if she could fight Shabby and the rest, then couldn't she fight friends that displeased her? Amelia claimed to admire her, but repeatedly she'd heard the nasty comments; insults on her appearance or behavior, insults delivered with a haughty sneer that would have done Naga or Martina proud. Lina didn't fit into her code, her world of black and white justice…anyone that could cross the line from saint to sinner so easily wasn't to be trusted…especially if that unknown also had an eye for Zel.

Zelgadis…now he'd been honest from the start. They'd met under a banner of challenge, caught in a duel to see who was more capable, held more worth in both skill and cause. It hadn't just been about the Philosopher's Stone…they'd each seen something in the other's eyes, a spark of challenge and defiance. After that they'd become colleagues, each respecting the other for various reasons.

As she continued mastering greater spells, taking on grander enemies, she started feeling more like a teacher among students. They all looked up to her at various times, either as a guiding force or someone to handle situations they couldn't.

He also knew the kind of knowledge she carried, had been offered at various points, while he'd been denied the chance…and he didn't bother hiding the fact that he wanted to learn it, always wanted to find more and apply it where he would. He was a fighter and mage, yet just as much a scholar at heart.

He'd led an extremely hard life, both before and after meeting them. Taking on so much so young had worn away much of his personality; betrayal, scorn, and fear had only helped it along. He'd gradually hardened himself against it, though his chosen method was different than her own. But if Zelgadis said something, he meant it. He didn't bother with the false smiles, the petty compliments. He didn't flinch at her power…he _inhaled_ it. Like her, he'd seen far too much to let the little things affect him.

_You consider yourself the same as him? Don't kid yourself, Lina. Would he have broken down earlier, almost crying at something so trivial? You've been acting like a spoiled child, whining at everyone, throwing a tantrum at every opportunity. You may claim to be strong, able to face down any danger, but you yourself proved that a lie…you couldn't even face your own traveling companions! You run from them into the night, blaming them for things they didn't even do, things you're only assuming._ Again her mind taunted her, dark thoughts lashing out against her.

"Damn you!" Lina suddenly yelled into the night, a few shaking leaves her only response. She'd yet to stand up, but it didn't seem important anymore.

Only her anger mattered at that moment. There was only the pain, the neglect…imagined or not. She'd endured years of suffering at the hands of others; Luna, The Lord of Nightmares, countless monsters and enemies of every type. Fate itself stood against her, forcing her down a road where almost everyone seemed to have a name for her, an insult or odd look. No matter how strong she might be, she was still human. It all started to boil inside her, pushing to the surface…and she didn't have the strength or the desire to stop it.

"Damn them all! What right do they have to look down on me, to judge me whenever they feel like? Have any of them become a mighty saint when I wasn't looking? Have they flown down from some perfect realm to save the people, willing to sacrifice all that they are for a cause they didn't choose?" Her voice sounded strained toward the end, warped by the waves of emotion hitting her for the first time in ages.

Years of bound grief and frustration came out in wracking sobs, tears finally breaking free, cascading down her face. "I'm not evil, I'm not a monster! I've saved them time and again, openly bearing their hatred for it. I've done so much, so early in life…and I'm condemned for it! They choose the memories they like, give me whatever image they want; damn them all…let them burn for what they've done, finally suffer for their blind ignorance!"

"So this is how you feel behind your mask." It was an observation.

She froze, instantly recognizing the voice. Slowly he approached her from behind and left, footsteps quiet as always.

_Well, at least I know what direction camp is in._

He stopped a foot or so away, standing in silence, obviously waiting for her to speak, to offer some sort of explanation.

"Zelgadis." His name sounded dull coming from her. While she'd managed to stop the crying, she'd paid for it…suddenly she doubted she could put emotion into anything she said at the moment.

"So we're all evil then. Everyone is wrapped up in their own goals, their own idea of the world. They care for each other, but never for you. All of existence holds nothing but negative emotion for the renowned Lina Inverse." He gave a short laugh. "My, aren't we a bit egotistical…not to mention hypocritical."

His smug tone rekindled her dying anger. With a short hiss she stumbled to her feet. Furious, she turned, her hand itching to strike him. How dare he! What right did he have to follow her…to listen in on her private thoughts? What right did he have to assume how she felt, then to insult her on top of it?

_Every right. Weren't you the one that just condemned them all to burn?_ The thought interrupted her. Lina winced, her anger draining away as swiftly as it arrived. Hate it as she might, the thought was dead right.

Zelgadis stood before her, leaning to one side. Arms crossed loosely, he regarded her with that intense gaze that he had. Briefly she met his sapphire stare with her usual crimson-eyed defiance, but it melted away under his continuing look. His lips were compressed into a thin line, and there was something in his entire stance, enough that she could almost hear the lashing words that surely waited on his tongue. He was upset, that much was obvious, despite whatever else her fancy might imagine.

Swallowing a resigned sigh, Lina gathered up her failing courage. If she was already condemned by her own words, by the look in his eyes, why not go down blazing?

"You're right, I admit it. I know I've done the same thing myself time and again. I've judged others, assumed things that I shouldn't. Hell, look at how our first meeting went. There, I've said what you wanted to hear…happy now?" She paused a moment, but he didn't move, didn't even blink. He knew how to draw the truth from her, how to stay silent until she snapped the full truth at him.

_'Times like this…I really hate that gaze of his.' _Came the bitter thought. It was one thing to see that gaze drop a bandit to his knees in fright, send some powerful noble into a cowering fit of silence. But to find it used on her…

_'Damn that look; the one that makes my knees shake, twists my usually solid spine. Those eyes that turn my emotions upside down, bore through any story I might create in my defense. Curse the man that can open my soul so easily, pulling all my secrets from me, no matter how deeply hidden.'_

She smirked at that, laughing a bit. She stumbled forward a few steps, then stopped when she noticed how much her actions had thrown him off. With a start he'd stepped back a few paces, his manner making it plain that he expected her to attack him somehow, be it through fists or a fireball.

_'As if either would hurt him. So even Zel fears me now…right away I'm a monster set to attack. Haven't I always had a temper? When did it turn from playful aggression to being out for blood?'_

Her anger started up again, and unbidden, tears started to gather at the corner of her vision. Fists clenched, she started to shake a bit. Enough was enough, she was going to stop this one way or another. Lina Inverse was a lot of things, but doormat wasn't one of them.

"That's it, I can't…_won't_ take this anymore!" She pinned Zelgadis in place with a chilling stare. "Just say it Zel, just say it already!"

She almost laughed at the dumbfounded look on his face. The great Zelgadis; heartless, mystical swordsman…powerful, shamanistic chimera. A great mage that had traveled the world seeking forgotten magic, lost texts in countless ruins and forgotten libraries. Relative to the great Red Priest, a cursed man that had then dedicated himself to acquiring more knowledge and power, all while on a greater quest to find a cure. He'd even bested her a time or two, not that she hadn't made him pay for it. So calm and collected, sure of his own power. She'd shattered his image; knew more than he, accomplished more. Yet it wasn't slaying a dark lord that unnerved him now…only a laugh, a few steps. She's thrown him off, destroyed his arrogant pose. Instead of intimidating her, he only radiated confusion. She almost wanted to laugh again.

"What exactly are you wanting me to say, Lina?"

"Don't taunt me Zel, don't you dare!" She snapped, glaring. Curse him for drawing it out, for choosing this one moment to be as dense as Gourry.

"I'm not taunting you Lina, you should know me better than that."

"At one time, maybe….but not these days. Just say it Zel, tell me how much you hate me." A part of her was distantly surprised at the iron control in her voice. "I know what all of you really think, what you won't say out of fear of what I might do. I'm a burden, someone long past their usefulness…I'm ruining things for the rest of you, throwing your personal goals awry. So just say it already Zelgadis, say you hate me."

She expected him to laugh, to mock her with sharp comments like he'd done to so many others. She was certain that smug smile he used for such things would appear at any moment. He would say he hated her, that they all did, and she would leave them behind a heartbeat later…well, after a flung spell or three on her part that is.

Instead he straightened up, eyes widening in shock before narrowing coldly. Once again he crossed his arms, leaning slightly to one side, again all control and confidence. "No."

Without missing a beat she matched his cold stare with a glare of fire. "Don't play that calm, heartless role with me, Zelgadis! You're always one to speak your mind, if you say anything at all. So what's holding you back? Just say it already, or do you like prolonging this?"

"Why?"

The question hit her like cold water. Her mouth opened and closed a few times in silence, enough that she half expected him to crack a Noonsa joke. But he didn't, Zel really wasn't the type, and eventually she regained her voice. "Why? What do you mean, 'why'?"

He shrugged. "Just that. If I'm supposed to say something as final as that, I believe you should tell me why. I deserve that much."

Again she stood there in surprise. She'd been certain that he would simply have said it, then moved on. On the other hand, while Zel was known for being almost painfully direct at times, he was also very cautious, suspicious even. He never blindly walked into something unknown, not when he could stand back and observe the situation first. Leave it to him to choose that moment to look for a deeper meaning to her request. This was one meaning she couldn't give him…_especially_ him.

"Because…" She trailed off, wanting to smack herself. Any excuse that started with because was bound to be flimsy, especially given the situation. '_Sure Lina, he'll just happily accept that. If that excuse didn't work on Luna when you were little, it sure as hell won't work on Zelgadis now.'_

"Because isn't an answer Lina, I'm sure we both know that by now."

"Damn it Zel, why do you have to make this so hard!? Can't you just answer and then leave me the hell alone? No, as usual you have to be the intelligent one, to look beyond the situation, try to see past the question. Just once, can't you simply tell me what I want to hear!?"

Before she realized what she was doing, she'd lunged at him, fists pounding against his chest. The rational part of her mind realized how childish she looked, not to mention how worthless the attacking gesture was against him, stone or not. The rest of her didn't care; all that mattered now was the emotion driving her, venting it in aggression rather than more tears.

Eventually he grabbed her by the wrists, forcing her to stop. For a moment she considered kicking him as well, but in the end she just stood there, exhaustion filling her as adrenaline faded away. Her head dipped a bit, leaning against his shoulder…then the tears caught up with her again. She was beyond caring though…let him smirk or tease, it just didn't matter anymore, not at that moment. Dimly she noted the pain in her hands, but that too would have to wait.

She wasn't sure exactly when it happened, but sometime during her crying, her self-examination, he let her go. It happened suddenly; her wrists were released, then his arms were around her. She felt like a child crying in the arms of a parent, or like the times Luna had held her when she was hurt. Yet that had been her sister…it surprised her that Zel was behind such a close gesture, even if it was one entirely of comfort, lacking any awkward or romantic feel.

When her tears finally stopped, which wasn't long after, she looked up at him. "Why can't you do things the easy way?"

He smirked lightly. "Force of habit, I guess. After all, I had a good teacher."

"Will you say it?"

"…no."

"But the others…"

He cut her off. "Don't matter. They aren't us, aren't like us. We will be here long after they're gone, and that frightens them. Do you know what they see in our eyes, Lina? They see answers that haunt them in the night, plague their dreams. One day they will leave this life, go back to their cities, their safe little homes. For them this is a temporary adventure, something they can walk away from whenever they get tired of it. We're different though. We have always walked a hard road through life…and we always will, it is part of who we are. In us they see the future, a future they won't be part of. No one likes to know just how little they mean in this world…so they fear us, attack us with words and actions."

She couldn't help smiling at that. What surprised her was when he returned it with an open smile of his own. A small part of her treasured the gesture along with the words, tucking both away for future reflection. "Thank you, Zel."

He coughed lightly then, as if finally realizing what he'd done and how they were standing. An instant later he turned her loose, taking sever steps back. Lina couldn't keep from grinning at the resulting blush on his face.

Eventually he calmed down, and they got around to healing her damaged hands. By the time they had walked back to camp, Amelia was asleep. Lina silently thanked Her for small favors.

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Later that evening, Zelgadis sat alone on watch. The others had turned in the for the night hours earlier, and even Lina was finally asleep, a soft smile on her face. Everything seemed fine for the moment, including the weather. For a single night they had food, fire, and peace.

Smiling softly to himself, Zel glanced once again at Lina. A small part of him had a good idea what the nights earlier events had been about. The rest of him was oblivious, focused on other things. He still had his own problems to deal with, and they quickly pushed aside any musings he might have made on the matter. The others didn't know it yet, but he was planning on leaving them soon. There were things to be done, things that didn't allow for interference or possible side-adventures.

_You'll miss her._ A small part of him noted. It almost sounded smug.

He didn't bother denying the thought. _'Yes…I will.'_

_Why didn't you tell her before? You finally had the perfect opportunity to give certain things a proper voice._

"Because…" He muttered to himself, careful to keep his voice low. "How do you tell someone that the reason you don't hate them…is because you love them, even more than life itself?"

Absentmindedly he brushed something out of his eye, then regarded his wet fingertips with surprise verging on outright shock. "Worse than that…how do you then leave them behind afterwards?"


	2. Chpt 2: One's Own Path

_Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer here, I wish I owned Slayers and everything with it, but I don't. If I was making money off this, I'd be rich...but I'm not. I'm just a poor college student with too much free time._

Revamped chapter 2, just a slight look at Zel's thoughts and perspective on things. (A lot of inner thinking on this part...if you prefer the standard story format, you may want to skip to chapter 4, though you'll be missing out on a good part of the story)

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_Chapter 2: One's Own Path _

Some journeys were best taken alone. It was a lesson he'd learned long ago, drilled into him by experience if nothing else. That didn't mean traveling companions were never welcome, or didn't serve a purpose now and then. Rather, it was easier to only be responsible for yourself.

For one thing, even at the best of times traveling could be dangerous; bandits prowled the roads, nasty weather could create a variety of difficulties, and monsters could pop up at the oddest times. Even if you traveled with someone perfectly capable of looking after themselves, accidents happened. If your companion couldn't manage that…well, things would turn out far worse. No one needed the death of a loved one on their hands; forced to live the rest of their life in guilt, wondering if disaster could have been avoided somehow.

He knew firsthand how death could alter someone. It was easy to start looking at things differently, wondering if a bit more strength would prevent another tragedy, if extra speed or knowledge might have tipped the scales then, might do so next time. That was, of course, assuming you really cared for anyone after something like that. In all honesty, he didn't see himself as the type to form relationships with others…not lasting ones at any rate. Friends were a dangerous liability…one he'd already seen the cost for firsthand.

There were other reasons to travel alone. For some people, they were simply afraid to let anyone in. If people get too close, they might turn on you someday. In your darkest hour they might sell you to the enemy, casually breaking you heart in the process. There were many temptations in the world, things that could seem far more worthwhile than a friend or lover at times. Money didn't have confusing behavior, power wouldn't argue with sharp insults…and with so many people in the world, couldn't another love be found, a fresh replacement for the old?

Such a way of thinking baffled him at times. Who wanted to spend every moment wondering if someone might be out to get you; dreaming of some cloaked assassin, a thief that would be only too happy to pry your secrets from you, then stab you in the back with them. It was too easy to become obsessed about such a fate; always looking over your shoulder, warily testing your food at each meal, your lodging every night. Everyone was just waiting for you to let your guard down…weren't they? People, by nature, were selfish creatures after all, and everyone has their price.

There was another reason, one kinder and simpler than the other two. Some people simply enjoyed being alone. For one thing, it was easier to think amidst self-created silence, rather than having to deal with the constant noise and presence of others. A soul could study ancient magical tomes easier in a solitary atmosphere, especially without the worry of a friend - well-meaning or not - reading over your shoulder.

Travel was much easier when alone. Expenses were lighter, especially if you only drank coffee or tea, while others could end up eating several menu's worth of food in a single sitting. You could also travel at whatever pace you wished, something highly beneficial to someone with the speed and stamina of a chimera.

Most importantly though, traveling alone meant you didn't have to worry about someone else's morals interfering with your plans. A person couldn't stop you if they weren't there to begin with. No endless speeches on the value and application of justice, no demands to stop for the night, to attack yet another bandit camp for a bit of worthless treasure. To actually have the freedom to pick a goal, plan the route to a destination, and to travel there directly…it was a blessing, one that he treasured.

Zelgadis traveled alone, by his own choice, for the third reason. Many that had crossed paths with him would assume the second, but while he was cautious by nature, he was far from paranoid. Others might assume the first, but while he hated to see a friend die, he also knew it was an unavoidable truth in life. Tragedies happened, life would never be fair…he knew both points intimately.

Zelgadis, or 'Zel' as his few friends called him, maintained a careful balance in life. It had taken years, but he'd trained himself to stay calm in almost any situation. Oh, he laughed and smiled on occasion - to be completely distant was dangerous in its own right - but usually he preferred to observe his surroundings in silence. You could learn a lot about people just by watching them. More importantly, if you spent your time observing others, they wouldn't be able to learn anything about you…well, except that you were observant.

They say that no man, or chimera, is an island. If you manage to live long enough, someone will eventually come along and try to reach beyond your protective shell. Innocently they might push beyond carefully laid barriers, walk casually through guarded walls, and effortlessly lift obscuring shrouds. Suddenly you have someone that begins to understand you, touches your heart and mind. Caring wasn't evil by any means…but it was a weakness. Friends could be turned into enemies, a lover held hostage as bait in some scheme. Eventually someone would spot the weakness; he'd learned the annoying tendency for people to learn of the exact things you wanted to keep hidden, be it through skill, kindness, or pure luck. Once learned, it wasn't very difficult to exploit such a secret to their own advantage.

He walked alone by choice, mainly due to a cautious nature, and he accepted that he had no greater reason for it than that. Only a day before he had traveled with others, people that had slipped from strangers to friends, then past that to allies, only to become enemies again…cycling through a variety of categories several times over the years they'd known each other. They had an unusual history together, the kind that started legends and tales. Stories aside, it was hard to travel that long with anyone and not get attached in some fashion or another. Oh yes, he remembered them well…and probably would for the rest of his days.

_The swordsman, Gourry._ An exceptional fighter, he possessed a sword skill that Zelgadis had yet to see matched, even by his own hand. Over the years Gourry had tried reaching out now and then, starting up the odd conversation, even if they were fairly unintelligent ones. But they simply couldn't relate to each other outside of battle. They were too different on so many levels…and then there was the fact that Gourry couldn't even remember his name most of the time! If that jellyfish couldn't even _pronounce _Zelgadis correctly…no, they fought together, nothing more. Then again, if you could honestly trust your back to another, know that they would defend you come what may, then didn't they qualify as a friend? Or was calling Gourry an ally enough?

_The priestess, Sylphiel. _A holy healer traveling alone, spreading charity and kindness to those she crossed. While part of him - okay, most of him - assumed she traveled only to near her 'Dear Gourry', another knew she also wanted to help those she could. As one time she'd even tried reaching out to him, much like some saint hoping to save the condemned. She'd spoken countless assurances of help in that kind voice of hers, offering a shoulder to support him, an ear to listen. Despite her gentle, if annoyingly persistent, approach, he had pulled away with his usual coldness, openly defiant. Like many before her, eventually she gave up, moved on to more willing targets. Even a forgiving soul such as hers would never really try reaching a cold-hearted chimera like him. After all her lofty words, she'd given up too easily…and how could someone that weak be worthy of his secrets, let behind his protective barriers?

_The princess, Amelia. _A spoiled child, one that held illusions of how the world should work. She lived and breathed her idea of justice, to the point of following it with a blind obsession unmatched by any but the most dedicated zealots. He'd been surprised when her initial horror had turned into a dedicated pursuit; he was hardly the type to believe in justice, especially her warped version of it. But as the years passed, she had only gotten worse, eventually believing herself not only important as a future ruler, but as a blazing figurehead for her cause. It was then that he understood the full scope of her pursuit; she desired him as a symbol, a living convert to her cause. Scholar, mage, swordsman, and exotic outcast…he was all of those titles to her. Known for following convenience and expedience rather than morals at times, she saw him as the ultimate challenge…a true test for the power of her so-called justice. He cared little for her blind ideals though, and even less for the court intrigue and political games that would come with her title. She would never convert him, never possess his heart or soul.

_The sorceress, Lina. _She alone had reached him. Renowned slayer of bandits and Mazoku, cursed black mage with power no mortal should ever have. She had blazed a path similar to his own…and like him, she had suffered dearly for it. Yet her eyes held no assumed understanding of him. She was wise enough to see, to know that they were still very different people. She hadn't judged him, hadn't forced. Oh, she prodded on some things, pestered when it suited her…but there was a clear difference between her and the others. Even after had revealed both his true nature and goal in life, oh so long ago, her eyes had held honest acceptance, respect for his efforts and results. He was more than just another fighter to her, more than yet another soul caught and pulled in her wake. He had the ability to match her on several fronts; someone that wasn't afraid to stand up to her when necessary, meet her point for point despite the clear advantage in magical power. They made an interesting balance, complimenting each other smoothly. He should have seen the unavoidable result. After years spent beside her in fighting and study, travel and rest, he hadn't failed to notice the connection forming between them.

Zelgadis, by choice, was alone. Like a thief he'd fled with the morning mist, gathering his things and flying away from the camp via Raywing. By now his group was far behind, beyond finding him, assuming they even tried. Most of them probably wouldn't care much, possibly chalking the disappearance up to yet another search for his cure.

The swordsman, assuming he would even remember Zel an hour after waking, might miss another strong fighter at his side. The priestess might cry a bit, speak of him as another 'poor, lost soul' in need of protection and guidance, understanding and support from them. The princess would probably rant a while, calling him 'unjust' for leaving so…but he knew that she would really miss the chance to prove the worth of her cause through him. Eventually she would pick a new target, forgetting about him in favor of some grander pursuit. The sorceress…

The sorceress would miss him. She didn't care about magic, she already had that in abundance. Ideals didn't appeal to her, she didn't follow them herself. She didn't even care about the possible fame or symbolism - though she'd probably want any treasure that came with such things…she had earned her own legends, both glorious and not, some time ago. No, she wouldn't miss Zelgadis; the heartless and mysterious chimera, the exotic swordsman and shaman. She would miss _Zel_; man of shadowy caution and hidden emotions, someone willing to stand beside her, no matter the enemy. Yes, he was willing to fight beside her against anything…yet he'd fled in the night when his opponent turned out to be something - no, _someone_ - he couldn't tackle with spells or a sword.

People travel alone for many reasons. Some care too much, others not enough. Many simply want to be left alone. For the longest time, he had placed himself among those in the third category. Now, looking back on his sorceress…he wasn't so certain anymore.

_Zelgadis wasn't paranoid, he was cautious. Even the cautious can have a heart…can't they?_


	3. Chpt 3: Legends and Daylight

_Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer here, I wish I owned Slayers and everything with it, but I don't. If I was making money off this, I'd be rich...but I'm not. I'm just a poor college student with too much free time._

Revamped chapter 3. This time things cover Lina's view, again from a more internal dialogue/thought style. Enjoy!

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_Chapter 3: Legends and Daylight_

Had she always been this weak, this dependant? Was Lina Inverse just a persona, something she donned every morning with her cape and gloves? Did her confidence only fall into place with the securing snap of her talismans…her thick skin and iron nerves ready only after she'd adjusted her headband, tightened her belt?

Just yesterday the world had trembled beneath her in awe and terror, both cursing and respecting her name - and the power behind it - in the same breath. In the light of day, in the face of enemies and allies, she was strong and independent; able to face down anything without a care, witty taunts on her lips, a defiant spark in her eyes. Nothing had been able to break through her defenses, slice their way through her protective walls.

The sorceress of chaos, dragon spooker, slayer of bandits and Mazoku lords…so many names, so many ideas. Little girl, flat-chested, greedy and unmannered child…she had no soul, she never cried. So many years of living in her own image, fighting to be worthy of her own legend. Did it really come any surprise that she'd started to believe the tales herself?

Just how long had it been since she'd last cried? How many lost companions, slain villains, saved or ruined towns had come and gone? Was it any wonder that it had eventually caught up with her, drowning her in long-avoided feelings. Like a broken dam, she couldn't stop the resulting flood, escape the raging torrent.

In two days she had shown a greater range of emotion than they'd ever seen, both good and bad. The others openly feared the new her, this woman that both was and wasn't _their _Lina Inverse. They knew how to deal with the walking legend; the strong leader that always held her ground, the fiery sorceress that left barren restaurants and random destruction in her wake. Suddenly she had changed on them, becoming a woman of flesh and blood rather than fire and chaos. They didn't voice it, but she could see the distrust in their eyes, the fear in their tense posture and short words.

How odd people were. Given enough time, they could adjust to any horror, accept any situation, no matter how outlandish. But throw them a sudden change, something that happened overnight…and they ran from it, either emotionally or physically, be it for good or ill.

_'What do they expect? If the horrors we faced in the past weren't enough to break me, doesn't it seem appropriate that the absence of a single man would? Have they already forgotten our troubles with Phibrizo?'_ Lina wondered, her attention switching to the campfire and beyond.

The others were asleep, arranged in way that made it obvious how unwelcome she would be on their side of the fire. To be fair, they probably hadn't done in intentionally, any more than people stayed indoors at night, refusing to open their doors without serious cause. It was just instinctive really…but that didn't make it any easier to swallow.

She would sleep alone then, as she usually did anymore…on the nights she could sleep at all. Rest came to her in fits and starts, especially since Zel's departure. She'd tried covering it as much as possible, volunteering to take watch every night, a chore the others were only too happy to avoid.

_'I always knew the others meant a lot to me, more than I would ever tell them. But I never knew Zelgadis had become ever more so…and that I was that dependent on him.'_

With a low growl, Lina threw another log into the fire. She watched the flames hiss and sputter at the new addition, dancing higher than ever between layers of thin smoke. "Damn him anyway! He tortures my emotions when he's here, and now he tortures them when he's gone."

Exasperated, she threw even more wood into the fire, satisfied to do anything physical if it would keep her emotions in check. "Would you be smug Zel, to know just how much you affect me? Would it make you happy to see me so miserable and confused?" She muttered softly.

Gourry's snore cut through the slight noise put off by the fire. Wincing, Lina glared at the sleeping swordsman. When his next snore cut off abruptly at her look, she flashed a victory sign, more to herself than anything.

After that it took her a few minutes to gather her scattered thoughts…but all too soon Zel crept back into them, along with a reminder of her earlier words. "No, you probably wouldn't. Maybe if it were anyone else, someone that hadn't earned what little respect and friendship you were willing to give. You were always nice to me…well, nice for you anyway." She chuckled softly, looking away from the fire in favor of staring into the surrounding woods.

"Maybe you actually liked me, Zel…enough that I might have had a shot at you, at claiming a place in that hidden heart of yours." She paused, realizing how she sounded. "Geez, I'm starting to sound like Amelia. Now there's something that would definitely chase you off!"

Swallowing her laughter lest it wake the others, her gaze drifted above the tree line, as if Zel might Raywing into camp at any moment, a beige blur in the distance. "But none of that really matters now, does it? Once again you decided to leave without notice…though I really shouldn't sound surprised anymore. It was hardly the first time you've pulled a stunt like that. Still, your timing couldn't have been worse! Any planning or hoping on my part was dashed in a single morning, and now I can't even seem to get a decent night's sleep! Do you have any idea how easy it is to blame myself for your sudden disappearance? Chalk it up to one stupid night of bad emotions and worse decisions? At least you could have had the decency to leave a damned note!"

Hastily Lina clapped a hand over her mouth. Gradually her voice had gotten louder as she continued ranting, until at last she'd ended with a yell. With cautious eyes she scanned the others, searching for even the smallest sign that they'd heard her. Gourry had resumed snoring, Sylphiel's dream-inspired murmuring a soft counterpoint.

_'Probably dreaming about her dear, dear Gourry.'_ Smiling a bit, she pushed aside her twinge of envy at the pair.

Next she shifted her gaze to Amelia. The princess was sleeping a short distance apart, wrapped securely in several layers of blankets, a wide smile on her face. For a moment Lina thought she looked rather peaceful and innocent…until the girl laughed in her sleep suddenly.

_'She sounds almost as bad as Naga!'_ Shivering, Lina purposely pushed all thoughts of her former partner out of her mind. _'I wonder if she drove Zel away? She's only been hounding the poor guy for years now.'_

Satisfied that the others were still sleeping soundly, she dropped her hand to one side. They didn't know just how much it bothered her every time Zelgadis vanished on them, and she wanted to keep it that way. Besides, Amelia had put on enough theatrics for the both of them that first morning. First it had been tears and wailing, then a fiery speech on the injustice of not saying a proper goodbye, then glaring at each of the others in turn, inventing various reasons to blame them for his departure…or as she put it, 'driving him off with their unjust manners and lack of understanding'. If any of them had doubted her feelings about Zel in the past, she'd made them perfectly clear that morning.

_'I can't believe I ever thought those two were close. I should have known Zelgadis was smarter than that. Amelia could never really love him, no matter what she might say to the contrary. She would want him to live in Seyruun, trapped in a castle attending countless balls, court functions, and any other thing her crazy father or she might dream up. Zel can't…couldn't stand crowds at the best of times, let alone being surrounded by them for the rest of his life! To top it off, he'd probably end up spending more time guarding her from crazy relatives than he would loving her.' _

Lina grinned to herself, unashamed at delighting in the thought of an unhappy Amelia. _'I have to admit, the timing was almost a bit too perfect. I had no idea that she'd made him an offer earlier that night. Hell, I was busy dealing with my own problems at the time. Still, the fact that he helped me was surprising enough…but he also decided to do so after turning down Amelia's offer to join her in Seyruun.'_

She paused then, finally realizing what she probably looked like. Cringing a bit, she let the goofy smile that had appeared on her face fall. "I've got to stop doing that. Maybe Amelia and Sylphiel are rubbing off on me." With a grimace, Lina decided not to think about what that might really mean. "I'm not like them anymore; I'm not hoping to find that prince on a white horse, or some noble to sweep me off my feet with fancy words and a huge treasury. I'm no kind and innocent princess, and Zel's definitely not some shining knight."

The idea of Zelgadis on a horse, dressed up in court finery, with some smile meant to send the ladies swooning on his face…the entire image was laughable. But then, instead of riding in to rescue her - not that she would _ever_ need rescuing - she imagined him riding past, heading off to some unknown destination alone. That sobered her quite a bit.

_That's right. _Came the taunting, sharp thought. _The reasons don't really matter in the end, do they? Poetry and causes aside, he still left without a word. Maybe it was due to some antic from Amelia, but it's just as likely he finally noticed how pathetic you really are in the stark light of day. No longer the strong sorceress Lina Inverse, the powerful mage of legend, able to hold the group together battle after battle. Capable of standing against any odds, challenging anything in her path without hesitation. No, he saw beyond the image others would grant you. You can't even handle your own problems; instead you run away from the others, throw a childish tantrum in the middle of some forest. _

Lina winced, but her doubts continued without hesitation. _Did you forget your little display? How can he expect you to fight at his side, help him find his cure…when in reality you are nothing but a weak little girl? Luna tried making you stronger than that, working such weakness out of you, but apparently she failed._

Angry at the harassing thoughts, a growl managed to sneak past her clenched teeth. Abruptly she stood, eyes narrowed and burning. "That's enough!" She hissed at the fire, as if that would stop her self-accusations.

_He probably got tired of supporting you after all these years, always being the one to bail you out when you made a mistake. You were supposed to be the leader, the strong one. You should be helping him, not the other way around._

"Quiet!"

_Maybe a gentle healer like Sylphiel, or a spoiled princess like Amelia can afford to be weaker, more emotional…but you gave up any chance at that kind of life a long time ago. You were supposed to be better than that, made of sterner stuff. You've controlled chaos incarnate, been good enough for Her to heed your call! _

_Then again, maybe the legends give you too much credit. Your triumphs were a fluke of the past, for a stronger you now gone. Maybe he finally noticed the change, saw the true Lina._

She didn't speak, didn't think about answering or defending herself. The fire jumped wildly when another log hit it suddenly, but she was gone before it settled back down. If the light and company wouldn't comfort her, maybe darkness and a bit of solitude would. If nothing else, it would give her the opportunity to yell without fear of waking anyone.

_You know what they say; touch a nerve, strike the truth._

"Damn it all! Can't you stop hounding me even for a moment? Shouldn't I be able to give myself a little break?" She yelled into the night, stopping suddenly.

It wasn't until the chill dampness of the ground hit her, that Lina finally realized she was sitting. Her back against a tree, she ignored the growing feeling of cold seeping into her skin, both from below and behind. At first she tried brushing it off, her attention focused on staying silent, avoiding a possible repeat of her reaction a few days ago. Despite her efforts, it wasn't long before things caught up to her, not that it mattered as much anymore. She could afford to cry a bit now, have her moment of vulnerability and weakness. No one would hear her or judge her; hell, the only person that mattered wouldn't be showing up this time…but wasn't that the root of her current troubles?

Lina let herself cry a few tears; silent things that ran down her face, dripping off her chin only to get lost in the damp ground below…where no one would ever find them, see the evidence of something so unlike the her that others knew.

Shifting a bit, she rested her forehead against her knees. Here, all alone for just a moment, the legends didn't matter. The tales of crystal blood and a stone heart, assumptions of how she would act in any situation, react to things said or implied. The hidden opinions seemed so trivial…yet held a deadliness that matched many a spell in their own secret, twisting way. The night was all that watched her now; shadows and sky, silent trees that shielded her from the world without suffocating, darkness that hid her slight failure. They wouldn't judge her…after all, like called to like. They were her kin in a way, and they wouldn't betray her even if everyone else did.

When dawn arrived, the others would find her beside the dying fire. She would be the old Lina once again, donning their image of her as easily as she did her own gear. Zel's disappearance would no longer matter, neither would Amelia's theatrics. They would have a new quest; some treasure just awaiting discovery, some ruin in need of exploration…maybe even a foe to take her anger out on. Her eyes would light up at the mention of food or coin, and she would be the solid, dependable leader once again…despite her classic temper, her stints of 'unjust' behavior. Only the darkness would see past the illusion, her attempt at acting the legend she'd been trapped in. Only the shadows would know better…them, and one chimera shaman, off wandering somewhere alone.


	4. Chpt 4: Seeking the Wind

_Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer here, I wish I owned Slayers and everything with it, but I don't. If I was making money off this, I'd be rich...but I'm not. I'm just a poor college student with too much free time._

Revamped chapter 4! Things finally get back to a more standard story format, along with actually moving toward a plot again. Before anyone rants about extreme ooc on Zel, please wait until the next chapter, which will offer some explanation. Please don't complain about the L/Z bias, or anything else I put a warning in the story description for. As always, C&C is welcome...hope you enjoy!

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_Chapter 4: Seeking the Wind_

Twisting, the thin curve of silver flowed between delicate arches of bronze. Fragile loops and arcs intertwined with one another, turning what had been an unruly tangle of metal into a graceful flow of water. To the common man its shape might resemble a writhing snake, or possibly some random pattern - the type currently popular in most jewelry. If someone with a solid knowledge in magic were to lay eyes on it, they might automatically try comparing it to one of a dozen or more magical forms, many used for some of the more complicated spells they might know of. Only she knew the truth. After all, she'd been the last to lay eyes on that book of lost spells, to memorize the ancient knowledge contained in the fading pages, all before letting a fire claim the information a final time.

It seemed more like something _he_ would do - would have done. That was the past though, an old example of how their group might have been. Time had changed them, both for better and worse, depending on the person. In her case, time had hardened her, added to the experience she'd already gained. In some ways she'd grown into a woman similar to her sister; someone of steel and sorcery…with power to burn, but possessing the iron will needed to control it.

Would _he _even recognize her if they were to cross paths again? Oh, physically she was the same; maybe there was a mature cast to her features, an extra wisdom or understanding in her gaze…but she was still petite, still fire and energy and defiance. She was less destructive, in the sense that she yelled rather than immediately flinging spells about, but it was enough of a change that more than one rumor marked her dead and gone. She still had a love of food; but her pace had slowed some, even if the quantity had stayed the same.

_'A new Lina for a different world. Seven years is enough time to turn even large events into memory, then into half-truths and myths. People are quick to forget, and I wasn't about to miss the chance to change my image a bit, improve myself without being hounded by others. Besides, the death rumors have cut down on attacks against me.'_

Letting a light smirk cross her face, she hid the rest of her amusement behind countless mental and magical shields. People didn't need to know what she might be thinking about, and she wasn't going to take the chance that some passing mage might catch wind of her mood, notice what she held in her hands. No sense tipping them off to just how important the twisted metal she had really was.

_'You thought you were so clever back then, leaving no trace behind. No note covered in your neat handwriting, no scrap of clothing torn from your cloak after a fight. No maps or footprints; not even a stray hair that might have pointed out the direction you took. So many precautions that were just an instinctive part of who you were…all meant to keep me, or anyone else, from possibly following you.' _

She let her memories of that night surface, the mental playback turning her smirk into a more familiar smile of achievement. Lost in her thoughts, it didn't seem as important to hide her reaction from others. She'd been in this town long enough that they knew who she was, what she was capable of…even if she didn't look the type at first glance.

_'Yes, I'm sure you were certain you'd foiled me, foiled any attempt at following you. There was just one thing you forgot, one detail you didn't count on. I'm Lina Inverse…and I never give up, no matter the odds. You should have known I would search for new spells, learn things no one else would think I could. I may not have started out with the intention of finding you, but I learned how in spite of that. A bit of metal, a spark of magic; both blended together into a specific shape, worn after saying a spell long buried. I can find you anywhere now…and all your little tricks and abilities won't stop me.'_

Lina paused then, realizing how obsessive she was starting to sound. Then again, she had reason to obsess a bit, to find Zelgadis quickly. The others hadn't accompanied her on every leg of her journey, into some of the more troublesome ruins. They hadn't stopped in the same towns, heard the rumors circulating there.

'_A stone-skinned Mazoku was seen attacking various towns, slaughtering everyone in his path. He was rumored to have assassinated several key nobles, even a king. I don't want to believe Zel is capable of that…but I know he has the potential, that almost blind dedication of his, of Rezo's, toward finding a cure. Without the rest of us to anchor him, maybe he changed on us. Or maybe someone simply found another of Rezo's old labs; is controlling a different chimera…or worse, him. I shouldn't jump to conclusions though, it's just as likely the rumor was completely wrong. Look at what they've said about me over the years!'_

A necklace, finely crafted, flashed briefly in the sun as she held it up. The silver and bronze were of the highest quality, but a spark of magic on her part kept both looking dim to the untrained eye. She hadn't gone through so much trouble, just to have the thing stolen by some common thief with a love for shiny objects. No, this necklace - or more specifically, the pendent attached to it - held a pretty shape, but nothing that would reflect its true worth. Only when looked at with magical eyesight would it reveal the true beauty in the metal, the blinding colors of powerful magic. Such was the drawback to the old, powerful spells…they tended to call attention to themselves.

"You'd better be worth the trouble. Bad enough that I have every sorcerer I run across following me around like a lost child, but if one more supposedly wise mage 'offers' to become my partner…I won't be help responsible for the carnage. I may be calmer than I used to be, but everyone has their limits." Lina muttered to herself, sliding the thin chain around her neck and fastening the clasp. Once properly set, she happily let the metal slide under her shirt, safely out of sight.

"I don't blame you for hiding that thing, Lina. I still don't understand why you've dragged us halfway across the continent for that puny necklace. I thought you were having some remote master craft you the finest piece of jewelry in history…instead you end up drooling over a pathetic bit of rust." Amelia remarked, turning away from the shop window she'd been eyeing to stare over Lina's shoulder.

Lina bristled at the snide comment, but held her tongue. If the last seven years had changed her, they'd altered Amelia even more. The princess had started to grow out of her justice phase, instead taking a more narcissistic and hedonistic approach to life. Though it was far from the first time she'd made such a comparison, she still couldn't help noticing how similar the princess was to Naga, even more so with her new attitude. It didn't help that Amelia had filled out even more over the years, gaining a fair bit of height as well.

Luckily, at least in regards to the continued health of the princess, traveling with Naga had taught Lina to put up with that type of personality. To her credit, she was _far_ kinder to Amelia than she'd ever been to her former partner.

When Amelia, with her usual sense of horrible timing, began to laugh - an all-to-eerie echo of The White Serpent's painful, soul-wrenching wail - Lina's temper finally snapped.

"That's it, I'm sick of this! Amelia, I haven't taught you one spell in how many years now, if ever, and yet you're still following me around. Instead of the hero-worship and justice speeches - which were bad enough, in my opinion - I'm forced to walk around with a younger version of the very same - and _extremely annoying_, I might add - partner I left ages ago! Didn't our group disband five years ago? Didn't I tell you all not to follow me when we accidentally met up a year later? I've told Gourry that I'm not some kid in need of protection, I've told Sylphiel that I'm not some saint out to save the world, and I've told you that I'm not some court magician that will do what you like, teach you any spell you might want to use in your warped cause for 'justice'! Why are any of you even here? Can't you just leave already?!"

The outburst caught Amelia off-guard, though she quickly recovered. Her gaze snapped to meet Lina's, eyes torn between fury and hurt. Where once the old Amelia would have cried immediately, would have called Lina mean or unjust, the Amelia standing before her attempted to be stronger, colder…to strike back.

"How dare you! You're always getting angry at anyone that might try speaking against your opinion, try standing up to you." She paused, and Lina braced for the follow-up. "I bet that's why Zelgadis left us! First you chased him off in the dead of night, and now you're trying to drive off the rest of us. Lina, you need to grow up and finally realize that you aren't always right!"

Before Lina could vent her fury at such comments, Sylphiel stepped between the two, her soft voice interrupting. "Please, Miss Amelia…you shouldn't talk that way about Miss Lina! You shouldn't be making fun of something with such obvious sentimental value to her."

Lina winced reflexively at the word 'sentimental'. Everything she did these days seemed to hold some deeper meaning in Sylphiel's eyes. It was as if the priestess were searching for some sign that Lina was truly happy with her life, as if she were still guilty for marrying Gourry several years earlier. It didn't matter that Lina had told her a hundred times, a thousand, that she was fine with their marriage. To someone as gentle as Sylphiel, she wouldn't be truly at peace until she was absolutely positive of Lina's feelings.

"And you, Miss Lina!" She continued, oblivious to Lina's growing frown. "You should know better than to get so angry over something that small! Saying such cruel things to Amelia…shouting about how you want us all to go…"

Lina found herself mentally counting to ten. When she'd reached 200 in less than a minute, it was obvious that she'd had enough. Sure, she'd changed herself over the years, learned to handle herself better. A small part of her noted how similar her dislike of some things had come to mirror that of a certain chimera, the rest of her was just surprised at how sick and tired she was of people in general…and her traveling companions specifically.

Hadn't she dealt with enough all ready? Had Zelgadis felt this tired, this bogged down by all the pointless little idiocies of the others, of people as a whole? Maybe she needed to try traveling alone for a while, break away from the rest. After all, hadn't they chosen to travel with _her_? What right did they have to treat her like some tag-along addition, dictate and decide her actions? She was capable of handling things on her own…and maybe that wasn't such a bad idea.

"Shut up…" She mumbled, eyes shifting to lock Sylphiel in place.

"W-what?" Came the stammered response, any previous conversation effectively ended.

"I said be quiet." Lina clarified, her voice darkening a notch, strengthening just a bit. "I want you both to be silent. I didn't realize that was such a difficult request."

Her reply came in the form of two mouths falling open, one in angry shock, the other in mute surprise.

Amelia recovered first, drawing in breath, with what was most likely a sharp retort on her lips. Before she could utter a sound, Lina stopped her with the same look she'd once used to stare down more than one high-level Mazoku.

"I'm sick of your whining, your speeches. Most of all, I'm tired of your theatrics. I may look younger than you now, but that doesn't mean I really am some kid you can push around on a whim. I'm not your servant, and I'm not your keeper. _You_ asked to travel with _me_, not the other way around. If I upset your delicate sensitivities that much, then by all means, leave. Head back to your little castle, your perfect little kingdom."

A very furious Amelia let her mouth shut with an audible snap. Two narrowed eyes opened wide, the flames of anger giving way to pooling tears.

"And you!" Lina turned her attention to Sylphiel, startling the woman. "I'm tired of your doting! I don't care if you spend the rest of your life with that jellyfish, Gourry. I don't mind that the two of you are married. Stop trying to understand me, to read into things that just aren't there. I'm a free woman…and I'm happy with that. I have the right to feel any emotion I damn well choose to, to say whatever I do or don't want to say! If you don't approve of that, then go back to your lover and leave me behind."

Lina took a quick breath then, continuing before the flustered woman could interrupt. "You asked to follow _me_. You wanted to help me, to understand me. The first I don't need and the second is beyond your reach." She softened her voice a bit then, but made it clear that she was still upset. "I know you mean well, but you're better off not knowing some things, never being hurt by them. Learning the Dragon Slave is one thing…understanding the heart of someone who has wielded and created such chaos is another."

Another set of eyes widened, though the tears flowed freely. A loud sob finally escaped the woman as she turned away. Still crying, Sylphiel stumbled off in one direction, running as fast as her blurry vision allowed. Lina was certain that Gourry would want to say some unkind things to her about it later, assuming he could remember them, but at the moment she didn't really care.

A minute or so later, Amelia finally chose between further sharp comments, or giving in to her tears. Crying far louder than Sylphiel had, the princess followed the older woman's retreat back to their inn.

"It's about time you told those two the truth. I see they've gotten worse since I left." A voice commented smoothly, following the words up with a light chuckle.

Lina whirled to face the familiar voice, her mind furious, her heart joyous. A million words fought for the right to go first, while countless thoughts raced through her head, each demanding immediate attention. Both lost all importance once her eyes actually focused on him.

Zel wasn't the same man that had left so many years ago. His hair, once a lavender that had managed to look light despite it's sharp nature, felt darker somehow; a deep purple that seemed shadowy-sharp despite how feather-soft it might appear at first glance. His gaze, at one time a bright sapphire that had held a constant spark of intelligence and emotion, had become nothing more than a cold, lifeless shroud. Back then his lips had always twisted into a shy smile, usually when he thought no one would notice…but now that same smile held a cruel edge that chilled her. Clothing aside, nothing of the man before her held the mark of her Zel.

No, she couldn't afford to think of him as Zel anymore. The man before her, who had turned a long ago voice of quiet wisdom and soft compliments harsh and cold, was Zelgadis. He felt like a stranger, like the man he'd tried to be when capturing her for Rezo a lifetime ago. Actually, she wasn't sure she could really consider him even that. Judging by the quick response to her summoning spell, either he'd already been in town, or her suspicions of him being a Mazoku were confirmed.

Oblivious to her train of thought, he continued. "Why so surprised, Lina? If anything, I should be the shocked one. I never expected you to learn such a spell…let alone use it on me of all people. I should probably be flattered at the attention."

"You aren't Zel." The words came our sharper than she'd planned, and she didn't miss his slight wince at her tone.

"No…I suppose I'm not the same Zelgadis you once knew." He almost managed to sound regretful, but the moment passed when his tone turned smug. "If anything, I'd say I'm an improvement. I found my cure, along with my real place in this world. You wouldn't understand Lina, can't understand yet. You're still blindly searching…trying to find that one missing piece that I once looked for."

He smiled, a gesture that would have touched her heart years earlier. Now it only sickened her.

"I should really be thanking you, you know. Your spell saved me the trouble of tracking down your little group." He paused, looking around. "Though it seems you did too good a job chasing the others off for the moment. I was certain they would have wandered back by now."

Instantly she was hit by an overwhelming bout of suspicion. "Why do you care? Aren't you the one that left, the one that used to hate how Amelia hung on you, how Sylphiel fluttered about?"

Almost lazily he strolled up to her, leaning close as if to confess a secret to her alone. "Well you see, it's like this…I've been sent to 'deal' with someone who has become rather troublesome." He pulled back then, giving her a measuring look, as if waiting for her to realize something.

When her eyes widened in growing horror, her moth opening slightly, silently…he favored her with a dark smirk. Almost absently her hand drifted to the fabric covering her necklace. The emotional side of her wanted to rip the cursed thing from her neck, smash the flowing metal against the ground. Her heart screamed at her to destroy the thing, as if that would somehow banish the man…no, the monster that stood before her.

"I really must thank you for summoning me, Lina. You've always been the smart one, the strong one. After accomplishing so much in your life, are you up for another challenge?" He levitated a bit, still smiling down at her. "After all the time you spent searching, all these years of chasing the wind…you've finally managed to catch it. I have to wonder though…now that you've found me, what will you do with me?"


	5. Chpt 5: A Stranger Well Known

_Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer here, I wish I owned Slayers and everything with it, but I don't. If I was making money off this, I'd be rich...but I'm not. I'm just a poor college student with too much free time._

Finally, a new chapter! (_A quick warning now: this chapter is not for Amelia lovers...you have been warned!_) This is not the final chapter, so don't worry about the ending too much. As always, C&C is welcome...hope you enjoy!

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_Chapter 5: A Stranger Well Known_

"Move!"

The vendor, fresh produce in hand, struggled to cross the road in time, a sad attempt at avoiding the blur of crimson rushing headlong at him. Cursing at his speed, Lina met him in the middle of the street, shouldering him aside even as she ran past. Shouting a brief apology, she didn't bother to see if he'd heard her or not. Some things were more important than courtesy. The man would certainly recover from a bit of bruising…but a delay on her part might just rob someone else of their very survival.

Further down the street, people were already moving aside. They lined the sides of the road, marveling at such strange behavior from anyone…even a mage, people known for being eccentric. For a moment Lina was almost tempted to laugh at the gawking men and women. If any of them had known her real name…well, it wouldn't have been the first time she'd seen a town evacuate in fear. If something was important enough for Lina Inverse to blindly run at it, destruction on a huge scale was sure to follow.

"This is all rather pointless, you know."

The comment, whispered in her ear, sent a chill through her. It was a voice she hadn't heard in at least a decade, but she wasn't too surprised at the sudden return. With a skill acquired over the past few years, she hid any reaction on her part, any tiny signal that might imply he'd startled her. There were some people that were more dangerous if they knew they'd caught you off guard.

Sparing him only the briefest of glances, she smoothly delivered a casual reply. "You're late."

There was a chuckle off to one side, the sound keeping perfect pace with her. "Typical Lina. I should know by now to give you more credit than most."

She smirked, dodging a woman and child. "Damn right you should."

Looking to her right, she waited for another sarcastic remark. When none came, her eyes snapped forward, just in time to see Xelloss appear directly in her path, arms open to catch her if necessary.

"Out of my way!" She snapped, easily levitating over the Mazoku.

As soon as she was over him, she cursed at the slip. Now he would know how ruffled she was, how important the destination. Given enough time, she could have fooled the others; buried Gourry or Sylphiel in explanations and distractions, flattered Amelia with compliments or gossip…even Zelgadis, or rather the old Zel, could be subjected to an artful dodge now and then. The right lead on a cure, a strong show of hunger or greed, or mentioning one of the millions of things that left him in a blushing, stammering retreat…she'd used them all over the years. He would always return to the original issue eventually, but then he had that constant suspicion about him.

Now Xelloss…Xelloss was different. A self-proclaimed 'Trickster Priest', he seemed to live for misdirection and twisted explanations. Capable of adapting to almost any strategy - or at least the ones she, or others, had tried during their travels - he was quick to retreat behind his usual 'that is a secret' explanation whenever someone attempted to turn the tables on him. Xelloss never revealed information unless he wanted to, but he certainly had a knack for tricking others into showing their hands early.

Noticing that he was pacing her again, she donned her best flippant attitude, favoring him with a lopsided grin. "I've been expecting you for some time now. Zel's…_unusual_ entrance seemed a bit overly dramatic to come from him alone."

He frowned slightly, enough that she would have missed it if she hadn't been specifically looking for a reaction on his part. "Why Lina, are you implying that I'm getting predictable?"

"Old age has made you very cliché, Xelloss."

He opened his eyes slightly at that, but disappeared before saying anything. Expecting another stall, Lina dipped low enough that she could take to the ground again if needed. Flying was faster, but she had greater spell access when her attention wasn't divided.

Suddenly arms surrounded her from behind, dragging her upward. She struggled a bit for show, though she knew a bit of movement on her part would hardly stop a Mazoku like Xelloss. Settling down a bit, she tensed when he rested his head on her shoulder, pulling her closer.

"Believe me Lina, you never want to meet an _old_ Mazoku…you would certainly never survive the encounter."

"What of Hellmaster, or Gaav?"

"Children. Age alone does not make one old…they must have the experience and wisdom to back up a simple number. You of all people should know the difference, Lina." He paused, his tone turning dismissive. "Then again, a mortal is still a mortal…some lessons are beyond you. Only so much can be done in such a small lifetime, only so many bits of knowledge absorbed. You are all such fragile creatures."

It was Lina's turn to be smug. "You forget who I've been touched by."

"Touché."

Pulling back a bit, he forcibly turned her around to face him. "What good will reaching him do, Lina? What do you actually hope to accomplish? By the time you arrive, she will either be dead or on the verge of dying. You will be forced to confront him…and the only outcome will be another death."

"A surprisingly narrow view on your part, Xelloss. Don't you pride yourself in preparing for all possible outcomes?"

"So you honestly believe you can kill him then?"

"Shut up!" Lina snapped, abruptly resuming her earlier struggle.

Xelloss turned her loose with a contemptuous snort. Pacing a bit in front of her, an odd sight in the air, he finally met her gaze directly, eyes opened to mere slits.

"They say that the truth hurts."

She held her anger in check with ease, distantly proud of herself for the unspoken point of victory. Xelloss wasn't dealing with the old Lina; she wouldn't waste time flinging spells over an implied insult, squander energy over some minor argument. But by the same token, she wasn't going to use her sudden freedom to run. Xelloss would only chase her down again…it was obvious he wanted to make a point.

"You're making a fairly big assumption, Xelloss. Very sloppy if you ask me."

Frowning a bit, he had his smiling persona back in place a moment later. "Am I now?"

She nodded, crossing her arms. "You keep talking as if that man were Zel…but he isn't, not anymore."

"So you still hope to save him, is that it?"

Shrugging a bit, she sighed. "I'm not Amelia; I don't expect to launch some noble crusade for Zel's soul, or resurrect his mortality with the power of justice. If he made his choice, I have to respect it…even if it puts us at odds."

'_It's not as if it would be the first time for something like that to happen. That man changed sides on us more than once when it suited him_.'

Before Xelloss could interrupt, she continued. "However! I have _also_ seen him controlled…and I know it can be broken."

The resulting bout of laughter on his part startled her, enough that her levitation spell faltered a bit. Dipping slightly in the air, she stabilized herself a moment later, favoring the trickster priest with one of her stronger glares.

"Lina…poor little Lina. And here I was starting to think you had grown. When did such naïve thoughts worm their way back into your thinking?"

"Get to the point, Xelloss. You've been stalling more than long enough."

Delivering a flourished bow, he looked up at her from his new position. "There will be a time to tell my secrets, Lina…but today is not that day."

Swearing softly, she watched the Mazoku vanish. "Fruitcake."

Turning, she resumed her earlier flight. Xelloss had already wasted more than enough of her time.

'_Knowing my luck, he only left because he already knows Zelgadis is there…or maybe that he's completed his little assignment._'

On the other hand, their meeting hadn't been completely without merit. She had learned the gender of Zel's target. Added to several earlier clues, she knew it was someone from their little group, most likely Amelia or Sylphiel. The priestess hadn't done much beyond marrying Gourry in the last few years, certainly nothing to ruffle some Mazoku's feathers. The princess on the other hand…

'_Amelia has been throwing herself at every major prince or king she's crossed paths with. She even convinced me to go along on that fake kidnapping scheme last year, all to test the 'love and devotion' of some poor prince._'

The more she thought about it, the more things fell into place. Amelia herself wasn't a threat, but as a princess of Seyruun, joining her kingdom with another could prove powerful enough to be quite a thorn in someone's side in the long run, depending on who she ended up marrying. If that second kingdom devoted itself to white magic as well…yes, that might prove extremely inconvenient to the right Mazoku.

She cut off her train of thought there. Thinking about it too much would start to affect her…and if she hoped to best Zel in battle, she had to be in top form. Distraction could easily lead to an early grave on her part.

'_Not that fighting Zel isn't hard enough. Our track record doesn't exactly weigh in my favor. I can't count on surprise, he's too sharp for that. Big spells are out too, he knows me well enough to cut off any attempt at using them. Maybe if I had Gourry for backup, or Sylphiel for a Dragon Slave-caliber distraction…but in a one on one fight, Zel has a definite advantage. That isn't even taking his new status into account._'

Before she could dwell on the problem much longer, she caught sight of the inn they'd chosen. Even as she touched down a short distance away, a beige figure stood just outside the door.

_'Either Zelgadis has slowed down considerably, or I'm too late.' _She shook her head at the thought, forcing herself to think positive. '_No, I won't give him an early victory! Either I made it in time; through delay on his part, or outright waiting…or I'm too late, and I can only try to make him pay for it.'_

At her approach, Zelgadis regarded her with a twisted smile. "Even given our differences in speed, you're arriving rather late, Lina. Did you encounter some sort of trouble along the way?"

"As if you didn't know already. Yes, I encountered your little _partner_ on my way over. We stopped to have a nice chat in the sky. So, care to tell me where Amelia is?" With a sigh of disgust, she drew her sword. Fitting that it should be a gift from Amelia for her last birthday.

He watched her a moment, a look of amused surprise on his face. "Blades, Lina? You've never come close to besting me with weaponry, even Gourry has admitted my skill over the years."

She shrugged, falling back into a defensive stance. "Times change, Zel…we're hardly the same people we were back then." She looked him over briefly. "Some more than others it seems."

"Even more reason for you to reconsider your choice."

Flashing him a confident grin, her eyes practically sparked at the challenge. "You know me…I never give up, no matter what."

"Even if your opponent is me?" As he spoke, he drew his own sword, invoking his standard Astral Vine spell. The red blade seemed appropriate for his new image.

'_I'd almost swear that red is darker than it used to be. Then again, everything about him seems darker now._'

Instead of voicing her thoughts, she nodded softly. "_Especially_ if it's you. You're too dangerous the way you are now, we both know that."

"You've always been too dangerous for this world."

"Enough!" She snapped. "First Xelloss, now you. We've talked more than enough, had our little verbal dance before the main show. I'm a soul of action…you above anyone else should know that."

He met her before she'd taken more than a single step, blades crossing with a sharp sound. She knew he outclassed her in strength and speed; that left the sneakier end of the spectrum for her to work with.

In a flash of memory, she thought back to one of the more intelligent moments between her and Gourry. They'd just finished clearing out a fairly nasty bandit hideout, and at one point in the fight someone had chased after her with a sword. Fed up with relying on spells alone - or worse, Gourry for those certain days of each month - she'd demanded at least one lesson in swordplay. It'd taken twelve promises against casting anything at him - Gourry kept forgetting from one minute to the next - but eventually he'd agreed.

_'If you're ever facing someone and they press you into a bind, here's what you need to do. Just turn the blade like this, winding to one side. If you're really lucky, you'll not only surprise them and break free, you might set them off-balance enough to get in the next attack.'_

_'And if I'm not lucky?'_

_Gourry gave her one of his big-brother style grins. 'Don't worry Lina, I'll be there to help you! You just keep taking out bandits with your fireballs…and I'll handle the sword stuff.'_

_'Somehow I don't find that very reassuring, Gourry…'_

Stuck in a bind, she let Zel test the mid-strength of her sword. Shifting her stance a bit, she waited for him to test the edge before winding to the right. When a look of surprise appeared on Zel's face, Lina thanked the Lord of Nightmares Herself at such luck. She stepped back instantly, out of his immediate sword reach. Even as he recovered from the slight delay, she was switching to spells instead.

"Burst Rond!"

"Windy Shield." Zel countered smoothly, his tone one of boredom. When he fixed her with a look of disappointment, Lina almost cheered internally.

"Haven't we been through this in the past? Next thing I know, you'll start casting fireballs, or try running past me to check on Amelia."

Moving forward a bit, she attempted to do just that, casting a Balus Rod along the way. Passing him on the left, she struck with the whip of light, hoping to distract him again. By the time she'd put herself between him and the building, he'd nonchalantly dropped his shield and grabbed the whip, seemingly oblivious to any damage it might do.

She dismissed the spell a moment later, switching to a Flare Bit. Ignoring the resulting smoke, she dodged low for a moment, deciding to try her sword again. Readying herself, she stood again, trying out a downward strike to the shoulder. It would hardly be fatal for someone like Zelgadis, but if he really was being controlled, she had to try wearing him down first.

A yell of pain proved her successful. As the last of her spell faded, she was left staring at her sword, the blade neatly piercing his entire shoulder. Zelgadis noticed it too, gaze narrowed in fury.

"I see you've been practicing…" He hissed.

"You doubt the great Lina Inverse?"

Smirking, he moved his left arm with inhuman speed, backhanding her hard enough that she was sent flying. She met the outer wall of the inn with a harsh sound, sliding down against it, before falling into an ungraceful heap on the ground.

"Doubt you? Never."

Wiping a trail of blood from the side of her mouth, Lina watched as he reached for her sword, easily drawing it free from the wound. When he snapped it in two a moment later, she almost missed it, eyes on his wound instead of his hands.

Noticing her gaze, Zelgadis managed a thin smile. "Ah, I was wondering if you'd catch that. It seems there are many perks to being a Mazoku. I'm cured of that hideous old form, yet I retain most of its advantages…plus a few new ones such as this."

As the weight of his words sunk in, Lina folded in on herself, slumping against the wall limply. It was obvious that Zel wasn't being controlled; he'd finally reached a point where a possible cure, no matter the cost, had been too much to resist. It certainly explained his change in behavior…Mazoku fed on fear and misery, so what did betrayal or death matter?

A soft thud next to her caught Lina's attention, snapping her out of her growing gloom.

"You were asking after Amelia's welfare earlier…I thought you deserved some reassurance on that score."

She tensed at the obvious false concern in his tone. Taking a few breaths to steady herself, she prepared for the worst before looking to her left.

To her surprise, there was no blood, not a single mark of violence. Eyes closed, the princess looked like she was simply sleeping, transported from her bed by Zel's whim alone. But no one living would have such a blue-grey tinge to their skin; a taunt, frozen cast to their features.

When she didn't respond, Zelgadis chuckled lightly. "I expected some kind of reaction from you; a scream of anger, some tears of grief, several spells flung my way…then again, you were always stronger than that. It was one of the things I liked about you."

"…bastard."

As she struggled to her feet, he took a step backward. She almost laughed at the surprised look on his face, but only managed a bloody cough instead.

"Lina Inverse, remember? You'll have to try a hell of a lot harder than that to keep me down."

She stumbled forward a few steps, regaining her footing as she went. Looking up, she watched as he vanished before she could reach him, reappearing behind her instead. Before she could turn - especially given his speed and her present condition - he placed a hand securely on her shoulder, holding her in place.

With the other hand, he moved to hook the chain of her necklace around his middle finger. Giving the chain a sharp spin, he waited until the pendant had caught on the chain, sliding up with it until it rested against the back of her neck. Briefly he fingered the bit of metal, tracing the intricate loops and twists.

"I seem to remember Amelia mocking your choice in jewelry earlier today. It's a pity she couldn't see the real worth of the things around her. Rather fitting that another bit of jewelry; pretty to the casual eye, deadly to those that cared to look deeper, should be her undoing."

Pulling both back and upward, he drew the chain against the front of her neck sharply, choking her only a moment before it break. He let her go then, stepping backward even as she turned to glare balefully at him.

"I think I'll just be holding onto this for now. I'd rather you didn't come calling again just yet…or for quite some time. There are still many things you need to learn about the world, Lina…and about others." Tossing the broken chain aside, he conjured a new one. After attaching her pendant to it, he slipped the necklace on. "When you do manage to finally reach me again, maybe we'll see about getting this troublesome bauble back to you."

Before she could say anything to the contrary, he vanished. For a moment Lina looked at the spot he'd previously occupied, then made her way over to Amelia. There would be a lot of things to handle in the upcoming weeks and months…and many people she would need to support. Gathering the Princess into her arms, Lina took one last look behind her.

"Yes, I will hunt you down again. You should know that I never abandon a good treasure…or a good friend."

Even as a few silent tears made their way down her face, she made her way inside. '_Trickster Priest you may be…but you don't make a convincing Zelgadis. I know he was the one that responded to my spell the first time, but for some reason you pretended to be him after that little show of yours in the air. Wait for my return Xelloss…not even Zelas herself will stand in my way.'_


End file.
